The Duke is back BITCHES! Duke Nukem Forever, indeed.

Duke Nukem 3D was the first (and possibly only) FPS that successfully married the genre with ‘B’ action movies.  Duke Nukem is the condensed form of our favorite action movies.  […]

Duke Nukem 3D was the first (and possibly only) FPS that successfully married the genre with ‘B’ action movies.  Duke Nukem is the condensed form of our favorite action movies.  With looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, armed with the infinite well of action movie one-liners like, “Hail to the king, Baby” (Army of Darkness), “It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I’m all out of gum” (They Live) and “Yippie ka-yay, motherf***er!” (Die Hard) and a story that is part Escape from L.A. and Meatballs with a hint of Alien, Duke Nukem is the gaming epitome of action movie satire.

We were provided a brief back story to the saga that is DNF and it goes a little something like this:

One of the reasons 3D Realms sold the IP to Gearbox Software was that Gearbox was fully committed to fulfilling 3D Realms vision (a 12-year vision) for the game.  The other major reason was that Randy Pitchford, president and co-founder of Gearbox, worked at 3D Realms and didn’t want Duke’s legacy to end as an industry joke. Duke deserved better.  3D Realms delivered Gearbox a complete game, front to back. It was Gearbox’s goal to enhance, fine tune and round out rough edges in 3D Realms’ Duke Nukem Forever. What you saw at PAX is 3D Realms’ vision come to life through the commitment of Gearbox and 2K. If you are a pre-existing Duke fan and played the game at PAX, then know that this game fits perfectly within the Duke pantheon of titles. It’s the Duke you’ve been waiting for.  Oh, and wait until you see multiplayer (check out the April issue of OXM).

Indeed, what I saw at PAX was the Duke I’ve come to know and love.  Mechanically, it could have been better on the Xbox 360 controller, which leans me towards the PC version to have greater control on the nuances of aiming.  That concerning niggle aside, the over-the-top, in-your-face attitude is still alive and well in DNF.  Tongue-in-cheek, otherthings-in-cheek, crude humor and interesting weaponry had me laughing quite a few times.   I’d say that the first ten minutes of DNF should properly set the tone for the game.  One of the first interactions with NPC’s has you examining a plan of action on a (usable!) chalkboard.

 

If you really wanted, you could draw a big dicktaxi on it.

 

From there you are immediately presented with a huge alien boss battle in a football stadium.  If this sounds familiar, that’s because it is.  This is how DN3D ends.  Upon finishing the boss, you are presented with a cut-scene which shows that the events that just transpired was actually Duke playing Duke Nukem 3D while under duress of the act of fellatio… from two women.  When asked how he liked the game, Duke candidly responds to the effect of, “It better be good for taking 12 fucking years to make”

I killed some pigs (cops. get it?) and then started to use a shrink ray on a few of them and at this point I felt I had experienced enough of DNF to fully grasp the full picture.  It’s with a big smile of relief that I can report to you that Duke Nukem Forever is back, Bitches!

Hopefully, we can secure a review copy of DNF and let you know how we liked it.  DNF is set to roll May 3rd on PC, X360 and PS3.

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About Phawx

Reviewer and Idea Man extraordinaire, Cary Golomb plays the role of jack-of-all-trades behind the scenes as a part of the Brain Trust and ownership of the site. At 11′ 7″, Cary is the tallest man ever to win the Boston Marathon. He is a large, predatory reptile known to attack livestock and drink their blood. Witnesses of his handiwork claim he is able to drain a cow of all of its blood and most of its internal organs in less than 30 seconds. His name literally translates to “The Goat Sucker.”