They say that necessity is the mother of invention. I find this very informative. It brings two interesting ideas to light. First, it means that necessity is a woman. That makes sense though. I’m not trying to make a statement about women being needy. I just think it is a good name for a woman. Necessity. It is the sort of name an upper class woman who runs an equestrian society would have. Mrs. Necessity Wentworth, Esq… I’m getting off track. The other thing that makes it so interesting is that it reveals that abstract concepts have families. This is an issue worthy of exploration.
First off, if Necessity is the mother of Invention, who’s the father? I say Laziness. They say Edison invented the light bulb so that he didn’t have to clean his oil lamps anymore. Then again, Inspiration and Perspiration are in the mix too. Sound’s like a love quadrangle to me. I guess Necessity takes it anywhere she can get it. An open relationship, I believe it is called. Greed is definitely a part of the family, too. Probably a meddling In-Law on the mother’s side. Necessity was delivered by Nurse Trial and Doctor Error. I’m guessing Necessity and Laziness’s other child, Poverty, isn’t their favorite. As for Invention herself, I’ll bet she gets around. Chances are she’s got a kid with Ambition. That would be Wealth. She probably got together with Industry and had Efficiency before finally settling down with Education and having Progress.
Well, that takes care of the Invention side of things, but what about the other Conceptual Couples? Insult and Injury, after years of association, finally got hitched and had themselves a bouncing baby Prank. Boredom and Free Time have spawned Pain, as many of you out there can no doubt attest to, along with a veritable Pantheon of other of Life’s Ills. Loneliness and Lust are the parents of Pornography, Masturbation, and finally Shame. Then there’s Anger and Impulsiveness, who are the proud parents of Regret. And don’t even get me STARTED on Stupidity and Alcohol’s Clan. Everything from Recreational Ice Fishing to Pimp My Ride has resulted from that delightful pairing. I really wish those two had never met in the first place.
Which brings me to sorry final group. The lonely little concepts who never found true love. Imitation, for example. They say that Imitation is the sincerest form of Flattery. That implies that Flattery is some type of Pokemon who morphs through various forms. Imitation is the sincerest one. I’d say Sarcasm is the least sincere form. Then there’s the well known claim that Familiarity breeds Contempt. So I guess Contempt is an animal too. From the sound of it Mockery is a small frilly breed of Contempt and Condescension is the kind you’d take to shows and win ribbons. Knowledge is Power, too. Sounds like a secret identity to me. Little did they know that mild mannered Knowledge was, in reality, Power, defender of the city. No wonder a little Knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Once again it seems that we’ve reached the bottom of the barrel, so it is time to call it quits. Until next time, why don’t you write a letter to Truth and Justice congratulating them on their brand new baby, The American Way. As for me? I’m going to have to call up Familiarity and see about picking up a little Contempt of my own. Up until now I’d thought that Peeves were the only concepts that you could keep as pets, and frankly, mine have become a little annoying.