Stream of Consciousness 4: Blatant Filler

The Egyptians used to think that the heart was the seat of all reason. I wonder how they felt about heartburn. Maybe they thought someone was talking about them. Ancient Egyptians all had the same style of art too. I read once that Cleopatra was not actually that attractive, but she smelled really good. There was some Chinese lady they called “The Fragrant Concubine” too. Apparently ancient cultures were really into stinky people. Guess I was born in the wrong era. Then, you don’t hear about any male historical figures who had a fabled aroma. Except Ray Liotta. They say he smells like apples.

Screw apples. Bananas are where its at. I mean, an apple is sturdier, but come on. Bananas are almost supernaturally perfect for snacking. Honestly, they practically come with one of those “pull here” labels on them. No wonder monkeys like them. They are proto-pudding cups for proto humans. Now as for mice liking cheese, that’s another matter. I mean, cheese isn’t natural. People make cheese. How did mice become famous for something that people have to make for them? What did they do before we made cheese? Look at milk and say, “If only…”

I wonder what other things we’ve created that animals have a natural affinity for. Bears seem to like tricycles. Seals like balls AND horns. Maybe zebras really like the internet. Or Koalas are nature’s natural drummers. Lemurs might be good at jump rope. And who knows, maybe sharks are awesome carpenters, and we never give them the tools.

What would a shark built. Probably some sort of seal trap. They’d have to bait it with a ball or a horn I guess. Or maybe they would build a catapult and finally start getting revenge on boats. Or maybe they would build sort of a reverse submarine and get on land. Land sharks… I’m scared now. Luckily they would have to rely on drift wood for this stuff. Good luck building a sub out of THAT.


About Decoychunk

Editor, Writer, and general Knower-Of-Words, if there is text to be read on BrainLazy, Joseph Lallo probably has his fingerprints on it. As the final third of the ownership and foundation of BrainLazy, Joseph “Jo” Lallo made a name for himself when he lost the “e” from his nickname in an arm wrestling match with a witch doctor. Residing in the arid lowlands of the American Southwest, Joseph Lallo is a small, herbivorous, rabbit-like creature with the horns of an antelope. He sleeps belly up, and his milk can be used for medicinal purposes. Joseph Lallo is also author of several books, including The Book of Deacon Series, book 1 of which is available for free here.