Short Stupidity Part 1

I wonder what the first word was. I bet it was “AHHHHHHH!”

After much deliberation, my brother and I have found that both “syringe” and “door hinge” rhyme with orange.

It seems to me that “pirate” is the only job that comes with its own accent.

I think that the sneeze is an insult to our intelligence. Mother nature doesn’t trust us to blow our own noses. That combined with that involuntary shake when you are peeing makes me wonder what kind of fools she takes us for.

Thanks to the Internet, there is no longer any reason to not know anything.

You can trust an honest person because they never lie. However, you can trust a compulsive liar too, because they never tell the truth. By that line of thinking, it is as despicable for a lair to tell the truth as it is for an honest person to lie. I think that that is why we are so shocked when we see politicians on the news confessing to crimes. We
aren’t surprised that they committed the crimes, but how dare they come clean about it!

There is such a thing as a designer molecule. This is a molecule that has been put together in a way nature never intended, with bizarre results. They have been able to create carbon that is stronger and lighter than titanium, gold that can change color, and aluminum that doubles in size in the presence of oxygen. So what have we used the revolutionary new substances for? Golf balls that fly straighter, socks that don’t stink, and Lance Armstrong’s bike frame.

On Sabrina the Teen-aged Witch, they have a cat named Salem. Salem was the place with the witch trials. They named a pet after a place that was the site of the torture and murder of untold numbers of their kind. That is like a Jewish family with a dog named Auschwitz.

If there is one thing cartoons have taught me, it’s that if you want something to be funny, have a chicken fly out of it. Failing that, have it break near a cat.

Technically, if something is not fair to anyone, it is fair to everyone.

Marie Curie, arguably the person who discovered radiation, once said, “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.” She died of radiation poisoning. I guess the guy who did the autopsy discovered radiation poisoning.

I hate fingerless gloves. They are like pants with no knees, or glasses with no lenses. Fingerless gloves are the vests of the hand world.


About Decoychunk

Editor, Writer, and general Knower-Of-Words, if there is text to be read on BrainLazy, Joseph Lallo probably has his fingerprints on it. As the final third of the ownership and foundation of BrainLazy, Joseph “Jo” Lallo made a name for himself when he lost the “e” from his nickname in an arm wrestling match with a witch doctor. Residing in the arid lowlands of the American Southwest, Joseph Lallo is a small, herbivorous, rabbit-like creature with the horns of an antelope. He sleeps belly up, and his milk can be used for medicinal purposes. Joseph Lallo is also author of several books, including The Book of Deacon Series, book 1 of which is available for free here.