I often hear about people talking about their sides. “I hope this hat shows my playful side.” Well, I decided to check in with my sides to see what’s going on, and because I have nothing better to do, I am going to share them with you.
First off, it turns out I don’t have a playful side anymore. My aggressive side killed my playful side six weeks ago. He was getting on my aggressive side’s nerves, then the aggressive side had a chat with the manipulative side and one thing led to another. It is a shame, too, because my aggressive side just got out of jail after getting ratted out by my cowardly side. See, the aggressive side had murdered my inquisitive side for “asking too many questions” and got sent up the river by my judgmental side. My forgiving side let him off early for good behavior, even though he strangled my annoying side while he was in there.
After looking into the whole affair, it turns out my manipulative side made a bet with my competitive side that my aggressive side couldn’t clean up his act, and my competitive side took the bait. Now he wants revenge, and no sooner is that said than here comes my vengeful side, ready and raring to go. My thoughtful side tried to talk some sense into the two of them, but once my stubborn side got involved, that was the end of that. My commonsense even tried to intervene, but he was well out of his jurisdiction. Besides, that guy has his hands full with my sense of humor’s prank calls to my sense of accomplishment.
So then my aggressive side went into hiding. He was laying low with my secretive side for a while, but my talkative side had been hanging around down there, so it was only a matter of time before that cat was out of the bag. My good side was planning on getting help from my protective side to try and calm things down, but my manipulative side had already got my gullible side and my bad side stirring stuff up between my inner child and my subconscious.
Right about then my wild side got involved and all hell broke loose. My adventurous side shot the side of caution. My traitorous side stabbed my trusting side. I don’t even want to talk about what happened to my secretive side. When the smoke cleared my insecurities had crushed most of the rest of my sides. Now all I have left is my insecurities, my pride (badly injured) and my sense of self loathing. Hopefully things will calm down and I can start to rebuild. I am currently hiring sides, but so far the only applicant is eagerness, and that guy is a bit to energetic for me.