Modern Sense: Technology

There are certain things you are supposed to know. Don’t touch a hot stove. Don’t put salt in your eye. Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Simple, obvious. Practically coded into our DNA. We call these things common sense, and people who don’t have enough ideally don’t last beyond childhood. You can only swallow so many Lego bricks before your body gives out, after all. Unfortunately, these days there are other things arising. Things that are less fundamental to the species, perhaps, but no less fundamental to society. And worse, these things tend not to have fatal consequences. Common sense doesn’t really fit for them. We need a new term. Let’s go with Modern Sense. This is a big subject, so we’ll break it into parts. First up, Technology.

One important piece of Modern Sense deals with the gist of how things work. Obviously we can’t expect every member of society to know precisely how, say, a microwave works, but by now we should all know what happens when you put metal in there. Even if you convince yourself that it is demons doing the actual work, you should at least have it in your head ?This thing makes food hot and sets other things on fire.? That way you would know not to put a cell phone or house pet in there, or at least you wouldn’t be surprised when doing so has disastrous results. Likewise, you should know the names of common tools. We aren’t talking a tap and die set or a hex shank stepper bit here. I mean the basic stuff. If a person asks you for a Phillips head screw driver, for instance, and you bring a wrench, it is time to brush up.

Moving up a level in complexity, lets look at the Internet. The fact that you are using it right now should imply you know what it is and how it works, but unfortunately the world isn’t that perfect. For instance, it is important to realize that, in most places, the Internet is something you pay for. It doesn’t just come with the computer. If you turned on your computer and it had the Internet already, and you don’t have an ISP, congratulations, you are stealing Internet from a neighbor. You see, Wifi isn’t the name of a strange and wonderful, naturally occurring energy field that comes form the earth’s core and brings you porn if you type in the right words. It is something a person sets up to connect their computers to their Internet connection, an Internet connection that they get from an Internet service provider, an Internet service provider that wants money in exchange. Also, the Internet is a place where people write things, like a newspaper or a bathroom wall. That means that some, dare I say most, of the things you see there are (gasp) not true. It is important that you think a moment before taking something from the web to heart. For instance, if you had $260 million and needed help getting it out of the country, would you randomly email people you hope might be able to help you? No? Then probably that Nigerian prince wouldn’t either. Likewise, if there was a revolutionary new herbal treatment that would triple the size of your penis, chances are the person who made the discovery would have developed a better marketing method than sending infinity billion emails and hoping for a hit.

Now, there are loads more, no doubt, but I figure it is about time for me to appeal once more to the hypothetical person or persons reading this for their input. Have you got any anecdotes of people who lack modern sense? Have any lessons you feel the modern senseless could benefit from? Well share! Sign up, sign in, and shout out! Remember, you have free will, and you should use it to do as I say. Otherwise, the terrorists win.

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About Decoychunk

Editor, Writer, and general Knower-Of-Words, if there is text to be read on BrainLazy, Joseph Lallo probably has his fingerprints on it. As the final third of the ownership and foundation of BrainLazy, Joseph “Jo” Lallo made a name for himself when he lost the “e” from his nickname in an arm wrestling match with a witch doctor. Residing in the arid lowlands of the American Southwest, Joseph Lallo is a small, herbivorous, rabbit-like creature with the horns of an antelope. He sleeps belly up, and his milk can be used for medicinal purposes. Joseph Lallo is also author of several books, including The Book of Deacon Series, book 1 of which is available for free here.