Everyone knows them. They are everywhere in popular culture, existing pretty much only to be looked at. If they even have names they tend to only have one, and always something exotic with too many consonants in a row. Way too many, to the point that if you got a Scrabble hand with their name you’d concede defeat. You know what I’m talking about. They are plastered all over the covers of novels, for one thing, and then there are the posters. Look in a college dorm and you will lose count of how many of these things show up on posters. You can learn a lot by counting their posters. For instance, the more posters there are in his room, the less likely that guy is to have a girlfriend. On occasion his poster collection is the REASON he doesn’t have a girlfriend. Sure you will find the occasional woman that likes to look at them, but for the most part they exist to entertain men.
You can’t deny that they are a thing to behold. Beautiful, majestic works of art. Of course, that’s the thing. They are ART. There might be something somewhere that looks vaguely like them. They may be BASED on reality, but for the most part we are talking about products of an overactive imagination. A talented artist poses a living thing just right, then starts inventing. Make the legs longer. Those things need to be pointier, those things need to be bigger. That needs to be shinier, this should be a different color. Add a little something here, take a little something away from there and POW, you’ve got an image of something that is absolutely enthralling for the sort of man that never gets any sex and vaguely irritating for most women. Things get a little more complicated when they are in motion. In those cases you can be pretty certain there was significant sculpting and various plastics and other high technologies applied, but the result is the same. Fiction. They are, in all ways, creatures of myth.
All right, enough of this evasion. Most of you out there have developed a theory about what I am talking about. Some of you are downright certain. And rightly so. After all, there is a LOT to go on up there. It is enough to make it clear that I am talking about dragons. Or super models. Either one, really. Bet you never thought you’d get THOSE two things confused.