Boredom has thrust this question into my head once again, and now I must inflict it upon all of you. The knuckle. What is it? Don’t go look it up. We all know that the language that the dictionaries list and the language that we speak are only vaguely similar at best. Ask around and I think that there will be a good deal of disagreement on this matter. It is one of those things that you define for yourself at a young age and never discuss. Well, time to discuss it.

Some people say that a knuckle can only exist in the finger. At this point you have to ask people if they consider the thumb a finger. If they don’t, slap them. Then ask what exactly it is that allows it to bend. A thumb knee? A thumb elbow? Even people who agree that the thumb is a finger and has knuckles tend to say it has only one knuckle. That wacko joint that connects it to the hand somehow doesn’t count. Possibly because it is notoriously hard to crack. Following the same logic as before, that would make it either the thumb shoulder or the thumb hip. Which would make the crease it forms either the thumb pit or the hand crotch. Frankly, I recommend anyone who claims to have a hand crotch be put under immediate psychiatric evaluation. As for anyone with a crotch hand, it is sideshow time.

Now, even for the people who will accept the 28 knuckles of the hand as I do, there then comes the sore point of toes. I say, toes have knuckles. I mean, what is a toe but a finger’s evil twin. That means they have knuckles. Hey, I can crack my knuckles, and I can crack my toe knuckles. Of course, I can also crack my knees, elbows, neck, back, jaw, ankles, sternum, and one shoulder. I’m not saying those are all knuckles. I’m just saying that the things that keep my toes from being just little foot prongs are indeed knuckles and not some sort of specialty joint.

I think I may have pushed this subject as far as it can go. I will now go back to doing things that I probably should have been doing this whole time. As for you, get back to work! And while you’re at it, ask the guy next to you if he thinks toes have knuckles. Yes. That guy. Do it. Now. What’s the worst he could do? Kill you? Hey, that’d be great. Not for you, you’d be dead. But the resulting news report, Man Killed After Knuckle Inquiry, would open up the knuckle discussion the world over and we can finally get this thing sorted out. And really, isn’t that a worthy sacrifice?


About Decoychunk

Editor, Writer, and general Knower-Of-Words, if there is text to be read on BrainLazy, Joseph Lallo probably has his fingerprints on it. As the final third of the ownership and foundation of BrainLazy, Joseph “Jo” Lallo made a name for himself when he lost the “e” from his nickname in an arm wrestling match with a witch doctor. Residing in the arid lowlands of the American Southwest, Joseph Lallo is a small, herbivorous, rabbit-like creature with the horns of an antelope. He sleeps belly up, and his milk can be used for medicinal purposes. Joseph Lallo is also author of several books, including The Book of Deacon Series, book 1 of which is available for free here.