A Matter of Interpretation

Alright, so there was a commercial, to the tune Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. The woman was wearing a bikini that was yellow, and had red polka dots. I had always imagined that the polka dots were yellow. I wasn’t sure what color the bikini was, but I was pretty sure it had yellow polka dots. I guess I was wrong. Who am I to argue with Madison avenue? But it does call an interesting question to mind. The One Eyed, One Horned, Flying Purple People Eater. Now, it is clearly stated in the song that the title character’s “line” is “eatin’ purple people” he goes on to indicate that such an activity is, indeed, “fine.” Now, it is thus made plain that the purple in the title is a description of the people, not the people eater. Now, it is certainly possible that the people eater is purple. It is not disallowed by the title at least. However, it is seldom, outside of a very homogeneous environment, that predator and prey share a common camouflage. And in the case of an airborne predator, it is further unlikely. A blue, or in the likely case of a nocturnal people eater, mottled black color would be far more likely. Now, since the people are purple, that would imply a purple environment, and thus one unlikely to exist on earth. However, as previously discussed, the creature spoke passable English, which would indicate that it was able to exist on our planet long enough to develop linguistic skills. A creature with that level of intelligence could most certainly find an alternate diet, though for a creature to earn an appellation based primarily on a particular prey item, its predilections must be of a particularly severe variety. This line of reasoning is purely academic, and will likely remain so, unless of course Mr. Chubby Checker would be willing to relinquish his source material for the initial song, but that grows increasingly unlikely. This just shows my tendency to over think things.


About Decoychunk

Editor, Writer, and general Knower-Of-Words, if there is text to be read on BrainLazy, Joseph Lallo probably has his fingerprints on it. As the final third of the ownership and foundation of BrainLazy, Joseph “Jo” Lallo made a name for himself when he lost the “e” from his nickname in an arm wrestling match with a witch doctor. Residing in the arid lowlands of the American Southwest, Joseph Lallo is a small, herbivorous, rabbit-like creature with the horns of an antelope. He sleeps belly up, and his milk can be used for medicinal purposes. Joseph Lallo is also author of several books, including The Book of Deacon Series, book 1 of which is available for free here.